My sweet baby boy,
You are turning one tomorrow. In a mere 3 hours and 39 minutes to be exact. I am currently rocking you (thanks to technology for allowing me to type out my heart and take a grainy picture on an iphone) and am soaking in your weight on my chest, your slow and steady breaths on my neck, the sweet sucking noises coming from those puckered lips. There is no where I'd rather be right now and based on this warmth literally radiating from my heart down to my toes, this is where I need to be.
It's hard to believe you are already one, but it is also hard to remember a time without you here. You have impacted us that much angel baby. I have done a lot of "this time last year" today and it has been so good to my soul to look back on that day. I was so ready for you to be here. Not because I was miserable.. I really wasn't. More because I was ready for you. Ready to learn you. To feel you. To be able to look you in the eyes and tell you that I loved you and that I was your Mommy and was already so proud to be.
In your short one year you have taught me so much about love. You radiate love, my boy. You have this way about you.. and you have since the beginning. You look at me and I can feel our connection. I can feel you saying so much to me through those big soulful eyes of yours. Before you could even "talk"one of my favorite times with you was after changing your diaper. I would lean down and we would just stare at each other. Even now, when I am holding you on my hip, you will sometimes twist your body around so that you can put your face right in front of mine. You need that small connection and so do I.
I knew before we had you that my heart was going to expand, that I was going to get to experience an undeniable joy of being called "mommy" by another little boy for the rest of my life. What I wasn't prepared for, but am so thankful for, is how you have softened me. You, my baby boy, have also taught me to slow down. To enjoy the small things. To not only enjoy them, but to stop and savor them. And, oh my, do you give me so many things to savor every single day.
I love you, Cade Daniel. I love you the whole wide world and then some and don't you ever forget it!