The best part of waking up

{is the folgers in your cup.. tell me you didn't think that after reading that title ;)}

I have read numerous times on other mom's blogs that they get up an hour before their kids do. My first reaction was, well, you must not have one like Connor Matthew who likes to wake up before it is even light outside! And, I kept that as my excuse for as long as I could remember. Then something just clicked last week and I decided no more excuses. I was going to get up, get myself a cup of coffee {because, duh. Can't do much of anything without that first}, cook Matt and myself breakfast,  and give myself the rest of that time to blog.

I know, I know. You might be thinking that I should use that time for quiet time with the Lord and sometimes I do both. But, I am a strong believer in the fact that you are the biggest model of behavior for your kids. Monkey see, Monkey do and I want my kids to see me in God's word. In fact, there have been multiple times that Connor will see me reading and ask me to read it with him...especially when I do it at the kitchen table while we are eating breakfast. Or if I am in the chair, he will sometimes grab his bible and come sit with me. So, I kind of made the rule for myself that if I knew we were going to be at home the better part of the day then I would wait and do it with him. If not, I will do it early. Don't get me wrong...I'm not saying that I get it done every day. I wish I did. But, I am trying and that is the first step! I downloaded all of the free Beth Moore kindle books a few weeks ago, but haven't started one of those yet. I don't know why, but I am not a huge fan of the reading on an electronic device. I just really like having that book in hand! Although, I do like the fact that it is always with me!

Anyway, I have all of those, but I still want to get Chasing God by Angie Smith. I have read Angie's blog from the beginning and her writing has always moved me. After reading the description on Amazon, I just really think that this might be my next read. Here it is:

Maybe you’ve never asked the question out loud, but you’ve wondered. You do the things that look good on paper: read your Bible, pray, attend study groups and go to church on Sundays.

But you aren't convinced you really know Him.

Angie Smith understands, because she had run circles around the same paths searching for Him, frustrated at her lack of progress. And she probably would have continued to do so had it not been for one realization that changed everything.

She wasn't following God; she was trying to catch up with Him. 

And without realizing it, you may be as well. 

It's a distinction that affects every aspect of our lives with Christ, and it begins with learning where we've relied more on man's explanation of God than God Himself. 

So many requirements, so many rules, and so much guilt where there is supposed to be freedom. It's the reason you wonder if you've measured up, and the nagging voice that tells you you're a failure as a Christian. 

Three simple words changed everything for Angie, and she believes they can do the same for you. 

Stop chasing God.

So, yeah. Consider this one next on my list. If there are any other books I need to read, please share!

I'd have to say that week one of waking up early went pretty well. I like walking around using the little flashlight on my phone as my guide. Gives me time to wake up without harsh lights or being startled awake by an anonymous blonde cutie. The only problem is if aforementioned blonde cutie hears me, he thinks that the "stay in your bedroom until it's light out" rule doesn't apply to him. And it is not easy for me to explain to him that it does for him, but not for me. So, until we are in a house that would allow me to be more separated from him (his room is right by the kitchen and living room where I am), I think it is just going to be a battle! The two times it happened last week I have made him go in our bed and watch TV. Which I know isn't going to convince him that he might as well stay in his bed, but after the three days I had completely to myself, I realized how much I needed this extra time! While I have started off only waking up around 5:40..when Matt's alarm goes off, I am hoping to slowly get it closer to 5. We will see! 

Moments

Life is good. So good. And busy. Keeping up with a 3 yr old and 15 month old is some serious work. Work that I don't (on most days ;) ) even consider work. I've obviously dropped the ball on the blogging gig this summer. There are things I want to go back and record about the boys, and hopefully I will. They are changing so much and I am just doing my best to stay eyes wide open and capture it all. Sometimes, though, I have a moment. An almost out of body moment where you are able to block out everything else and just be IN it. They always bring tears to my eyes. They are the breath taking, heart bursting moments. And you know, in that moment, that you don't need a blog post to remember this feeling. They always come randomly for me and they are almost always tucked away in the everyday motions. I had one in particular last week that just keeps spinning in my head like a video reel. 

                                                                                                                                                 

I was lying in the hallway, stretching. I heard the tell tale sign of Cade coming by the little stomping sounds that accompany his still fresh walk. I flipped over onto my stomach, because there is nothing he loves more than to crawl on top of someone and pretty much beat the tar out of them. As soon as he saw me, I heard the "ahh" of excitement come out of his mouth and those little feet quickening. Before the typical beating began, though, he laid his head on my back and spread his arms across my body. As if apologizing in advance for the fun he was about to have. Followed quickly by jumping up and straddling me like I was a horse. The bouncing up and down and squealing caught Connor's attention and the next thing I knew he was running in from the kitchen and landing on my legs. Every time he would gently land, we would all let out those glorious gut laughs.  The sound of their laughter mixed with my own was enough to make up for any {seriously minimal} pain that I might endure. It was during this moment that I realized 3 things. 1) I am SO a boy mom. 2) I would do just about anything to hear their laughter and laugh with them 3) There will be a day that they will be too cool for their mom and I want to make sure I find myself in as many of these moments that I can until then.

Even though it required me to become a human punching bag, there was no where I would have rather been than in that moment. So, while raising these 2 boys has it's hard times, it's harder times (ha!), I always know that when those moments come, it is more than enough to make up for it. 

Painting Punkins

Lately I have been pretty hard on myself that I have lacked on the "intentional" playing with Connor. I swear my mind has been in a completely fog lately and I am SO ready to be out of it! It's like I can't even fathom the idea of putting something together for us to do, especially a craft. Well, I decided to start small on Tuesday and paint a "punkin". 

AP @ ILYMTC actually blogged about her son doing this a week or so ago and made a comment about how she wanted her kids to remember their childhood as fun and messy (paraphrased..not a direct quote) and BOY did that hit me hard. I am so ridiculously anal when it comes to messes and I truly do dislike that about myself. 

One day they aren't going to be around the house much and the only mess I'll have is their stinky dirty laundry.. and I will miss this season. I will miss a random Buzz Lightyear laying around in about 3 different rooms. I will miss finding stickers stuck to random places. Dare I even say I will miss that dirty diaper I forgot to pick up and throw away after changing him? 

It is so much easier to say you know you will miss those things than to actually let it go. I know, I KNOW I would do better if I got on some sort of routine. If I got up early to get things done before they wake up (although normal wake up time for Connor is 6:45ish!! Eek!) But, man it is hard! 

he is pointing out the paint on his shoulder. he wasn't a fan of it being there ;)

But I also know what I am missing if I don't. I am missing the sweet excited smiles. The actual small jumps of joy that he does with his little hands out in front of him. The way he'll look at me while we are doing said activity and just smile. No words. Just a smile that screams, "Thank you."

 While I know words of affirmation are huge in a kids life, oh how I want him to remember me playing with him, too. I want him to remember days of just rolling on the floor in laughter with me. I want him to think I am funny. That I am fun! And most, importantly that I LOVED doing it with him.

 Because, until he has kids of his own, he will never understand the joy those sweet smiles give me. And knowing that I gave him those smiles makes it even sweeter.