Tuesday, March 19, 2013


Oh, my heart. The sweet boy that made me a mommy turned three last week. THREE. In the weeks before I found myself frequenting my memories from that point 3 years ago. Oh, I was so ready. I was large and in charge and ready to hold this sweet baby. I was ready to see him and, oh my goodness, was I ready to love him and love on him. And I still feel that way. Every single morning. {even more so on the mornings that he sleeps in past 6:30..ahem..}

This birthday was a little hard on the ole emotional side of me. I think it is for a couple of reasons. 1)he has changed SO much in the past year. He is losing his babyness in appearance and personality 2)I am realizing that I have had more years with him at home than I have left before he goes to school and those years... well they have flown by.  
This past one has welcomed some big changes for my little man. He became a big brother, is day and night potty trained, can have a full fledged conversation with you and just recently got a big boy bed. And he has rocked it all. 

Really, more than anything, I am just so proud of who he is. His sweet personality is one that influences those around him. He has a big heart and loves hard. He loves so hard. I used to see a lot of me in him (and still do in some ways), but I see so much of his daddy, too. I see his daddy's quiet shyness around others, but how he opens up once he is comfortable. I see that shy smile that radiates from his eyes... the same one that had me swooning back in 2002 when I first met his daddy. I also joke with Matt and tell him that he is SO his child when he sees someone doing something the wrong way or saying the wrong thing and immediately corrects them. He also has his daddy's memory and doesn't forget anything. 

And then there is the way that he loves to clean, Loves to have a plan and know the plan, knows what he wants and how to get it if someone isn't there to help him that my personality is seeping through. He loves to be a helper and those sweet words of affirmation that follow are like music to his ears. 

Speaking of words of affirmation, he is so good at giving them too. He will randomly come to me throughout the day and tell me he loves me and give me a hug. Or he'll say, "I wike to holdge you, Mommy." He is still a pretty big momma's boy, and I am soaking it all in because I know my time is limited. (evidenced by the fact that he came up to me a few Sundays ago and told me, "Bye, Mommy. I have to go play golf with daddy now.")

As much as he loves being at home with mommy and daddy, I can easily say that the next place he would rather be is with any of his grandparents or aunts/uncles. This boy has no idea how much he is loved... Or maybe he does and that is why the joy is literally like a light that shines around him! Either way, I can already tell that family will always come first for him and I am so proud of that. 

As I put him to bed the night of his birthday, I started to get up and he grabbed my neck and pulled me back down. "No, Mommy. I need you." Oh, my sweet angel. I have needed you, too. You have taught me more about love and grace and God in these 3 short years of your life than I could have ever imagined learning. I started to feel the tears well up at the thought of his next birthday being his fourth and how it was all downhill from there (not dramatic at all) and instantly chided myself. I vowed right then and there that I would be thankful for each and every day instead of mourning the loss of the days past. That's not easy for a momma's heart to do, but you better believe I am going to try. I kissed those sweet cheeks one last time as a ripe two year old and thanked God for everything the last year had meant.

I got a list of questions off of Pinterest that I am going to start asking him every year on his birthday. There are some I forgot to ask, but this will do for now! WARNING: This is very long...like almost 12 minutes!


Kayla said...

You def had me laughing watching that video! What a cuuuute idea!!! He is a riot...Happy Birthday Connor (baby)!!!

April said...

He is so cute! I just love his white/blond hair. I so know all about those feelings as they get older and how our time is limited with them. It is sad but I like how you said you have to think about the days ahead and be thankful for each one instead of dwelling on the days gone by. It's hard...especially because they change so much on us...but it's a good way to look at it.


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