Lately I have been pretty hard on myself that I have lacked on the "intentional" playing with Connor. I swear my mind has been in a completely fog lately and I am SO ready to be out of it! It's like I can't even fathom the idea of putting something together for us to do, especially a craft. Well, I decided to start small on Tuesday and paint a "punkin".
AP @ ILYMTC actually blogged about her son doing this a week or so ago and made a comment about how she wanted her kids to remember their childhood as fun and messy (paraphrased..not a direct quote) and BOY did that hit me hard. I am so ridiculously anal when it comes to messes and I truly do dislike that about myself.
One day they aren't going to be around the house much and the only mess I'll have is their stinky dirty laundry.. and I will miss this season. I will miss a random Buzz Lightyear laying around in about 3 different rooms. I will miss finding stickers stuck to random places. Dare I even say I will miss that dirty diaper I forgot to pick up and throw away after changing him?
It is so much easier to say you know you will miss those things than to actually let it go. I know, I KNOW I would do better if I got on some sort of routine. If I got up early to get things done before they wake up (although normal wake up time for Connor is 6:45ish!! Eek!) But, man it is hard!
|he is pointing out the paint on his shoulder. he wasn't a fan of it being there ;)|
But I also know what I am missing if I don't. I am missing the sweet excited smiles. The actual small jumps of joy that he does with his little hands out in front of him. The way he'll look at me while we are doing said activity and just smile. No words. Just a smile that screams, "Thank you."
While I know words of affirmation are huge in a kids life, oh how I want him to remember me playing with him, too. I want him to remember days of just rolling on the floor in laughter with me. I want him to think I am funny. That I am fun! And most, importantly that I LOVED doing it with him.
Because, until he has kids of his own, he will never understand the joy those sweet smiles give me. And knowing that I gave him those smiles makes it even sweeter.