Wednesday, July 11, 2012

My firstborn

As I am sitting here downloading literally thousands of pictures onto the Snapfish website for their 99 prints for 99 cents sale, I am seeing my life flash before my eyes. And, oh, how it is sweet. I was never one of those girls that dreamed of being a mommy (at least not that I remember). But, the moment they laid Connor on my chest, I knew. I felt like I had finally found my purpose in life. That might sound weird, but it is true. Now that's not to say God doesn't have other plans for me, because I believe He does. I guess it was just a feeling of knowing how important this job of being a mommy is and it's one I don't take lightly.  I mentioned to Matt the other day that, had our "plan"been God's plan, then we would just now be trying for our first child. Yes, we had the "be married for 5 years and then children" plan. Thank God He felt like that wasn't a good idea! I cannot imagine not having my sweet boys in our lives!! 

I have pictures printed up until he was 9 months old, so I had to go that far back and start downloading. As I was seeing those first moments all over again, so many emotions were pouring through me. 

Seeing pictures of that mostly bald head with a huge grin and how I thought (and still do) that every single picture I captured of that grin was so precious. He was the happiest baby!

Seeing the pictures of him first walking and instantly remembering how dadgum cute that little waddle was. I'll never forget the day that I turned around and he was no longer crawling. It just happened like that. 

 Seeing the picture of him holding my hand to walk over the tree branches in the ground because he wasn't quite steady enough to go over them. Every single time he would get to that point in the yard, he would hold out his little hand for me to hold. Now he runs across the yard yelling "Don't get me, Mommy", which really means get me and tickle me :)

 Seeing the picture from the first weekend Matt went out of town after Connor was born and I was by myself with him all weekend. I was so nervous (would be like a piece of cake, now! HA!) and sweet boy just sat down and pulled blocks out of that cup, put them on the train, pulled them off the train and back into the cup. Repeat. 

 Seeing the pictures of his first time at the beach and remembering how excited I was for him to experience it. Seeing things through a child's eyes is one of the greatest things in life!

Seeing the pictures of the day he had to be held while I was drying my hair. I'm sure I was a little frustrated that he was slowing me down, but I very distinctly feeling elated that he needed to be close to me...because I have found in those times it is usually me that needs it more than him.

 Seeing the pictures of his first time to swing and be at the park. Remembering my eyes tearing up while we were there, because to see your child exude joy from every fiber of his being is so precious.

I have a hard time believing that this little boy is now 2 years old. No one ever told me how big of a difference the year between 1 and 2 would make. I have a toddler that has a head full of blonde hair, a mouth full of teeth and one that sees me coming and will run towards me with open arms screaming "MOMMY!"One that tells me "love you, too, Mommy" almost every night. One that will randomly come up to me and give me a hug and a kiss. One that makes me laugh almost daily. One that when I make him laugh, fills my heart with so much joy. One that I can pretty much have full conversations with. While it is somewhat (ok, a lot) heartbreaking to see him growing up so fast, I know that I will love things about every age with him. As proud I am of him at the age of 2, I can only imagine how it is going to be in the years to come!


Tara said...

Aww, these memories/pictures are great.

My daughter is 13 and I love looking back at pictures when she was growing up. Crazy how time flies.

Tami said...

Aww- this post made me cry!! I definitely know that feeling of tearing up from seeing your baby so happy. It's the most amazing feeling in the world. I agree with you about how becoming a Mom changes you instantly. I feel like it is the most important thing I will ever do. Loved seeing all of these pictures of your sweet boy!

the workaholic momma said...

aaww, kelli - i just LOVE this post:) It is SO sweet and I just love Connor's little grin!!!! These babes grow WAY too FAST!!!!

Libby! said...

best post yet!


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