About 6 or 7 months ago Connor quit letting me rock him to sleep. I would try and he would just say, "bed". Lately he has been much more cuddly with me.
And the past two nights he has wanted me to rock him! Oh, to say my heart melted would be an understatement! The first night he went to bed first, but started crying pretty hard after a few minutes. He wanted some water (yes, we have started that lovely trend!) and then said "Rock you?" when we got back into his room. Of course, I obliged! I just sat there staring into his sweet face and asked him if he wanted me to sing a song. He said yes, so I closed my eyes and started singing, only to open them a few verses later and see him looking right at me, SMILING! Being 7 months pregnant, I am emotional anyways, but this just did me in! I kept singing and started stroking his cheek and forehead like I did when he was a baby. "Tickle, Mommy," was my response. I said, "Oh, did that tickle you?" "Yeah," was his sleepy response. And then it hit me that he is getting so big. Here I am holding my "baby" like a baby with his feet stretched out past the arm rest and I am holding a little conversation with him. I mentioned a few days ago that it was happening more often, but something about it happening when you are in the middle of doing something that takes you back to him being a tiny little thing that fit in your arms just right that makes you more aware. After a few more minutes, he sat up, stretched his arms out and asked, "good?" I didn't know what he was talking about until he started shaking his finger back and forth. He wanted to sing Our God is So Big, but got the words confused. Of course, we sang it a few times and then put him to bed and I floated out of the room with the biggest smile on my face.
Last night he didn't even ask to go to bed, he just wanted me to rock him first. He wanted ring bear (the bear April and Josh got him for being in their wedding..or the plans to be, at least..ha!) also. We rocked for probably 1 minute before he popped up, turned ring bear over so that his face was facedown on my shoulder and then promptly put his head down and fell asleep immediately. As soon as I knew he was fully asleep (evidenced by the huge wet spot on my shoulder.. LOVE) I rolled him over to just stare and kiss all over those sweet cheeks! He really has absolutely no idea how much I love him. The song I think of the most often when I am in these moments is I Love You With the Love of the Lord, which is really the only way to describe this type of selfless, unconditional love. And in 2 months I will double that love. My cup overflows!
** I had Matt take these pictures last week while I was reading him a book. He curled up like that and rested his hand on my belly all by himself.**