Motherhood.

About a week ago I pulled up one of my favorite blogs, Enjoying the Small Things, and read her post about the birth of her {crazy adorable, gives me suh-erious baby fever} first son. As always, her writing blew me away, but there was one part in particular that just left hot tears streaming down my face. 

"You know, we've come a long way as women.  Our culture recognizes and celebrates our accomplishments, talents and unique gifts far more than it did fifty years ago.  Much good has come from voices for feminism.  And today, we talk a lot about recognizing and valuing our identity outside of motherhood.  I know that's important.  I have no doubt that if I didn't have children, I would have found fulfilment and happiness in other things and I wouldn't have been any less of a woman or lover or nurturer as I am today as the mother of three.

But I can also say that I am an independent woman who is completely and utterly in love with motherhood--so much that yes, my identity is and forever will be intertwined with this gift--being their mother."

(the post this quote came from found here)

Goodness that resonated with me. I have said before that I really had no clue just how much I wanted.. almost needed.. to become a mother. A part of my heart was not quite alive until my sweet Connor was placed in my arms. A part that grows daily. A part that beats just for them. My babies. 

I can easily say that this part of my identity is the one I am most proud of.  Not in a cocky, "I've got this all figured out" kind of way, because trust me... I don't. I fail every.single.day. (In fact, Connor asked me the other day after I had raised my voice at him, "Mommy? You need to tell I'm sorry to me?" Talk about a gut check.)  I am proud because I can see how it has changed me. Or, really, is changing me.  For the better. 

I am so, so proud to be their mother and not a day goes by that I don't look at them in utter amazement that God gave this gift to me. A gift that I pray I am thankful for daily and that I never EVER want to take for granted.  

This weekend as we were enjoying the slightly warmer temps and Connor was enjoying the big boy swing for the first time, I was just struck with awe. Awe that the simple act of pushing my babies in the swings and hearing their laughter, seeing that twinkle in their eyes fulfilled me in a way I had never imagined. 

I love those simple moments. I truly believe they teach me so much more than any over the top moment can. It allows you to take away all the extra distractions and just be. Just be with them and memorize the way he laughs when you make up silly songs about him swinging so high he is going over the trees. The way that your baby laughs when you tickle him just as that swing is coming up to you and you take note, once again, that his little laugh is starting to sound like a big boy. You close your eyes and hold them real tight and when your toddler asks you why, you say, "Because I don't ever want to forget these moments with you. I am willing my brain to never forget"... even though you know you won't. 

You won't, because they are etched on that piece of your heart forever. A piece that was woven in and made to fit perfectly. That piece I call motherhood.