The things they didn't tell me

I read so many books when Connor was a baby. If I had a question for something, I would always reference them or google it every time. If I didn't know the answer, surely I could find it somewhere. While I usually did find some kind of answer or suggestion, there were so many things that I didn't find. 

They didn't tell me that when your baby is screaming so loud you are afraid they are hurt, but immediately they stop once in your arms you will feel like a superhero.

They didn't tell me that as soon as they are in your arms and curl up against you and rest their little head on your shoulder and sigh that deep sigh of contentment that your heart will burst out of love. That you will once again feel like a superhero because you are able to provide that comfort for them.

They didnt tell me that when they wake up for a second only to see you still holding them and then smile at you, that you will be so glad you hadn't put them back in their crib just yet.

They didn't tell me that when, just getting in your babies line of vision makes him start whimpering for you would remind you of all the times you didn't know you needed your momma until you saw/talked to her and will make your heart swell to know you are that person for someone.

They didn't tell me that you would want to just rest with your nose up against their mouth because their little baby breath is the sweetest smell on earth.

They didn't tell me that you will have so many moments of just staring at all the sweet details of them...their nose, their hands, their little feet, they way they shape their mouths with those first coos, that you would be able to pick them out of a crowd of thousands.

They didn't tell me that when they start talking, that along with some really hard moments, you will have moments that will make you want to drop to your knees, hug their little necks and never let go. They will tell you, "I love you, mommy" and you will know they are some of the most important words they will ever tell you.

They didn't tell me that along with what is known as the Terrible Twos is also the hilarious twos. That you will have moments where you get each other laughing and you both end up crying from laughing so hard.

They didn't tell me that I would wake up each day excited to see what the day would bring. Excited to kiss my boys and hug them. Excited for what they would teach me, because that is the biggest thing they didn't tell me. Not only am I shaping them, but they are also shaping me. And for that, I will be forever grateful.